Free Write 3-20-2013

Faith. What does faith mean to you? To me Faith is to follow someone or something to the very best ability and in the end to have found that you have nothing left. I was never one to be the most faithful growing up, to my parents, to my school work, or even my boyfriends, it seemed like the only thing I was really very faithful to was sports, and living my life basically how I wanted. This is not to say that I did not go to church, or follow the rules of my parents, and try to be a good kid. But I was totally lacking in my faith. Faith in everything, and more importantly God. I knew he was there in my life, and I believed in Him with all of my heart, but I had no Faith in him. Faith that He knew what was best for me, that He had a plan for me, and that I would be all right. No, I thought I am the controller of my own destiny, I make the decisions for my own life, I don't need anyone's help. Well I was terribly wrong, though it is true we do make our own decisions but we do need God's hand in everything that we do, for if we don't how do we expect to manage?

It seems like all when we are trying to blame someone for something or we are mad at someone all we can remember about that person is the bad things they did to us, or the things that they did not give us; and I think we often do this with God as well. We are faithful, and up singing praise, and are happy with God when everything goes our way, but when things don't go our way it is then that we are unhappy with God and decide to take matters into our own hands.How many of you have tried to get your kids into C of O or know some one who has tried?  I can remember, the fall of my Junior year of High School, I was trying to get into College Of the Ozarks, and I was so right with God, I was attending regular church again, and I wasn't just attending church I was leading the life I needed to be living. I felt so right, when I went for my interview, I talked with the interviewer longer than most others, and I felt like it was were I was supposed to be I even met all of the requirements. When it came time to get the letter however, I got those dreaded lines, "We regret to inform you. .". Instead of taking that letter and hanging it up as a way to stay determined to get in, I threw it away, and decided to take matters into my own hands. I stopped praying, and stopped going to church, I began listening to Hard Rock again, and stopped praying. It wasn't until the spring of my Senior year, over a year later that I began to get back on track for real. It had started before that, I just began giving up, I couldn't find a job, I was single, which to a teenage girl seems like the end of the world, and I was stuck in a rut. So I just gave up, but I gave up in a good way, I gave up to God. I gave everything to him, and decided to be patient, whatever he wanted for me, I would accept it gratefully. It wasn't but a short time later, that I got a job, and started going back to church, and then I went to the Marshfield First Baptist, to attend the D-Now, which is short for Discipleship Now. There I rededicated my life to Christ, and gave up everything that was weighing me down. I even met the love of my life and best friend Garrett. God opened so many doors for me, just because I decided to put finally put all of my cards on his table, and he continues to open doors for me everyday!

Jeremiah 29:11
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.